How it bottled down to Fear

She was seated at her desk with her ear phones plugged in, listening to her favorite song. She heard some vague noise in the background but she managed to ignore it. Soon the commotion began to increase and she found her neighboring colleagues getting up from their cubicles and looking in the same direction. Sighing she got up too, expecting to see something like a trivial fight. Instead the sight that she witnessed was that one of their co-workers was catching the collar of another and both were struggling, possibly to hit each other.

The commotion was more because everyone else around them were yelling at them to stop, from a very safe distance, obviously no one wanted to get hurt in the process. Great, she thought, what amazing office entertainment! She was about to return to her desk, when one of the guys removed a pen knife from inside his shoe’s sock. The guy supposedly had a history of the typical ‘gundagardi’ but no one at work had ever seen this side of him. The guy opened his pen knife and took it close to the other guy’s throat.

The noise now got ten times worse. Girls started squealing at the top of their voices, men continued screaming but this time with more panic in their voices. The guy who was being ‘bullied’ had pure terror in his eyes and was struggling now to get away rather than fight back. She watched this in silence and then leaned against the wall. A slow smile crept onto her lips as she saw the ‘duel’. Now this was entertainment, she thought.  

She saw the mad anger in the knife-guy’s eyes and she wondered why it was there. These two had always squabbled before and had even been warned by their boss once to lay off but, wait, she thought, where was their boss? His room was empty. Hadn’t anyone thought of calling him? He could probably stop it. She was about to suggest it when someone else yelled “Stop it! The boss is on his way!”

But for that kind of mad rage even probably calling the God himself wouldn’t have helped. It was almost as if they couldn’t see or hear anyone around them! Even though all around her were scared for the collar-held guy all she could think of was, what had ticked Knife-guy off so bad? And so, in what she assumed was a small voice she asked to the room at large “Arre but what the hell happened?”

At that moment Knife-guy turned his red, blood shot eyes on her, and she felt a pure thrill of fear! Shit, how had he heard her? “You wanna know what happened?” She barely managed a nod before Knife-guy began shaking Collar-held and said “Why don’t you ask him?”

The whole room went silent now. Everyone wanted to know the reason behind the whole drama. Collar-held, who was already frantic was being asked to talk! He was so shaken that his words were barely audible or comprehendible. “I… wife… sorry… didn’t mean… sorry… joking… really!”

The stress on the last word was so obviously out of panic and fear that she actually wanted to laugh.

“Say it properly you jerk!” threatened Knife-guy when their boss came storming in. His stern face glaring at Knife-guy. “Let go of him and put that knife away before I rusticate you for office violence!”

Knife-guy gave one last threatening look to Collar-held and then let him go, put his knife back in his socks and stormed out but not before saying to the boss, “Ask him what he said.”

Boss looked at Collar-held, who was now massaging his neck. “In my cabin!” The relieved guy now followed Boss inside the cabin and the door closed.

Dammit, she thought now they wouldn’t know the reason! Well they would, eventually. Office gossip spread fast, but at the spur of the moment it was more interesting. She sighed and returned to her desk. Everyone around her began chattering at once, making up their own stories, or rather making ONE story out of the bits they all knew, one girl even began crying!! Sheesh... But all she could remember was the rage in one pair of eyes and terror in the other, and more importantly the fear she experienced when Knife-guy had looked at her with those eyes.

And then she realized, at the end of the day, how much ever people preached non-violence or brain over brawn, it was the stronger, armed man who was feared. The threatened was simply left with pity. Whatever may have been the reason for Knife-guy’s anger, either legitimate or not, it was he who would be listened to, and probably even respected, though the root was purely fear.

The only thing this entire incident had achieved was that now all would be careful aroung Knife-guy because, even if they denied it, they all now feared the man who had threated with a knife...

Independence day???

So another 15th August has come and gone. For all those whom it wasn't just a day to sleep late or enjoy a day off from work, what was it?

Are you celebrating the 'day'? What exactly are you celebrating?

Independence? Freedom? Freedom from what?

Yes India got its independence from the British about 63 years ago. That was a day to rejoice, but what are you rejoicing about today?

We have simply gone from the British rule to the rule of our very 'promising' upholders of the constitution and their governments. Not to mention the dramatic opposition party(s), who nonetheless oppose everything as, isn't that what they are sitting there for? Surely not the welfare of the citizens and the future of the country??

Slamming someone for simply voicing an opinion and yet sit around like zombies when insane people bomb, shoot and create massacre here. Talking about quick decisions and yet taking 15 years to solve a case and pass a judgment.

So coming back to my point, what are you celebrating exactly? Do you still believe you are independent? Of course you do.

You can argue on a very practical ground that 'what the government does, doesn't really affect me personally so I am still Independent', fair enough. I'll give that much to you.

I respect your sentiments of jumping up and down with the 'Tiranga' in your hand screaming "Happy Independence Day" I really do. Just don't talk about personal freedom when you are actually most captivated today than ever before.

Not making sense?

So you are celebrating freedom are you? Freedom from the British who you haven't even probably been around to see but yes freedom it is. If you are so completely free today then why do you think twice before you walk with your girlfriend close to your home, holding hands, or buy a condom from your local chemist?? Scared someone might see you and demean you?

Still worried about what the damn society will say, when you take any decision, even before you consider your own happiness?

Hold bias' against a certain community or stereotype a section of people, that makes you walk with pure fear or hatred in their areas, or when they are near? But you definitely are free. Yes you are.

Suffer from insecurities, low-self esteem, can't perform well because you fear you aren't good enough, or someone will be better? Can’t stand up for yourself?

The very common peer\ parental\ spouse\ office\ colleague pressure. Scared of their rebuke, so start to think and act like them, forgetting who you really are?

Fear for your health, of course. Now that's a good thing! But walk around with a mask or with bottles of sanitizer and yet in the peak of monsoon you just can't stop from eating at that tasty roadside joint, and then wonder why the hell you fell ill!

Yes such independent people. Simply can't rid selves of habits. What about addictions, like booze, hookah or smoking? Come how many ever new years and their resolutions you justify to yourself saying, it's not that bad or it's actually quite cool??

Ironic isn't it how we at such a simple, personal level itself aren't free or independent of our various thoughts, habits and the people in our lives, and yet we run at the first chance to display so-called patriotism on such Independence days?

A country or a nation as a whole isn't really independent in the true sense until each of its citizens are free from the thousands of problems that hold us back like, hypocrisy, ignorance, indifference, etc. Problems within us, which when thrown out will make all the difference in the world. That day you won't find the need to sing a 'Vande Mataram', jump with a flag or message your entire contact list saying "Happy Independence day" because that day you will truly be aware of the fact, you will be living the fact. There's no need then to say it out loud or prove it to the whole world… Because then everyday is your Independence Day!