Not all need be justified

All of us at some point or the other in our lives, have gone in the defence. It is but natural for us to irrationally and reflexively come to the defence of something or the other. May it be our religion, our state, our country, our ideals, our faith, (and in the case of the Thakeray's) our language, etc.
We react spontaneously without rational thought because that is what we have learnt from this insecure society that we live in. To defend every attack, to prove every point, to make others understand.
The reason we do that is because we have a desperate need to explain ourselves, a fear of being misunderstood and that is why we immediately come to the defence. We react.
I remember being taught the difference between ‘a reaction’ and ‘a response’.
When we react it is usually a defence, a reflex, something that happens instinctively because of what we have learnt and seen in the past.
But a response is when we first comprehend the situation and then logically give an answer or an action. A response is not learnt it is a rational process that is holistic and could be different each time.
A defence to something, right from religion to our ego is a reaction. Because we are attacked we impulsively attack back or justify the attack both of which are defences. It is learnt and ingrained in us all.
In a psychology class I once learnt that there are several defence mechanisms that humans utilise to defend their ego. It is a necessity because if we do not defend our ego it shatters our self-esteem and has the capacity to destroy a human being. Hence a natural self-defence system is created to keep our ego hale and hearty, to keep us sane.
In psychological terms it probably makes sense and in certain conditions this defence may be justified. But the day to day defences that we do for the various things in our lives is not meant to keep anything hale and hearty.
When we go into the defence, rather than feeling content or satisfied one always feels uneasy and vulnerable. When we are attacked in our lives, attacked verbally I mean, by spontaneously defending our pride and lashing out at the opposite person we are not gaining anything except unrest. Even if you win the argument you always end up feeling exposed and dejected. The wounded pride then takes time to heal.
Instead, when we are attacked it is best not to react. Comprehend what the opposite person is saying. Consider the fact that it may be true, try and logically reason and if nothing helps just let it go.
The basic problem is that we don’t. We always continue to hold on. If we learn to let go of the situation, along with it all the unease attached to it shall also leave us. Let us all learn to let go. It’s like someone had explained to me, we always hold on to something and then complain that the thing won’t let us go, whereas all you actually have to do is loosen your grip.